Trolling: Things you wish you could say at work

Ok, I’ll confess. I get a lot of inspiration from the dark side of company culture and customer experiences. In this category I try and collect trolling examples. Not to copy them, but to battle them and to get better ideas on how to be good. So here’s to the art of the troll.Trolls seem to thrive in corporate settings. So, here are some things you can’t say at work (but trolls would):

1. Ahhh…I see the fuck-up fairy has visited us again…
2. How about never? Is never good for you?
3. I see you’ve set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
4. I’ll try being nicer if you’ll try being smarter.
5. I’m out of my mind, but feel free to leave a message…..
6. I have plenty of talent and vision. I just don’t give a damn.
7. Thank you. We’re all refreshed and challenged by your unique point of view.
8. The fact that no one understands you doesn’t mean you’re an artist.
9. What am I? Flypaper for freaks!?
10. No, my powers can only be used for good.
11. Who me? I just wander from room to room.
12. Do I look like a people person?
13. Errors have been made. Others will be blamed.
14. Allow me to introduce my selves.
15. Too many freaks, not enough circuses.
16. Chaos, panic & disorder – my work here is done.
17. If I throw a stick, will you leave?