A plea for scripted authenticity.

The rule.

A friend managed a large café in the centre of Utrecht. Every morning, he gave the first customers a free coffee. Not because they complained. Not because the coffee was late. Just because he could.

People remembered it. They told others.

His staff did not copy him. Giving something away meant less money in the register. Previous managers may have trained them not to do it. Or perhaps nobody had explicitly said that they could.

So he introduced a rule. During every shift, each employee had to give away at least three drinks or bites and tell him what happened.

A script for spontaneous kindness.

What I think now.

I still like the intervention. It broke an invisible rule. It gave people permission to act differently and forced them to notice moments where a small gesture could matter.

I no longer think the rule is the destination.

You cannot manufacture a human moment. A mandatory smile, fixed line or giveaway quota quickly becomes another task. Customers feel the difference. Staff do too.

The better move is to design the conditions for kindness. Give people time, permission and a small budget. Make it safe to go off-script. Share the stories that result. Do not prescribe the exact moment.

Sometimes a script is useful as training wheels. It can break an old habit and prove that different behaviour is allowed. But remove it before the script becomes the new invisible rule.

You cannot script authenticity. You can script the conditions that help it happen.

My original post of April 2012, rewritten in September 2026. Order pad made with Midjourney.