Managing expectations.

What is the problem?

Driving conversations is very much about managing expectations. Meeting expectations is often treated as success, but what people actually say about an experience depends on how it compares with what they expected, and on whether the extra feels relevant.

Under-deliver and people have a reason to talk negatively. Meet expectations and there’s nothing to talk about. Exceed them in a meaningful way and you create a positive conversation. Go too far, or make the gesture feel forced, and the conversation turns negative again.

How does the model work?

The baseline is the expectation level. Pricing, brand, communications, previous experience and hearsay all shape it. The model compares delivery with that baseline, not with an abstract standard.

1. Under-delivery: negative conversations. A company fails to do what it promised, offers poor support, or misses what people need.
2. Delivery: no conversation. The experience meets expectations, but gives people little reason to mention it.
3. Over-delivery: positive conversations. A useful extra exceeds expectations and gives people a story worth sharing.
4. Over the top: negative conversations. Too much, or the wrong kind of extra, can feel unbelievable or self-serving. People may talk about the stunt or discount instead of the experience.

The goal isn’t to do as much as possible. It’s to exceed expectations in a way that supports the conversation you want people to have.

What does it look like in practice?

I once heard a guy tell a story about a company that produced hipster bags. Every time you ordered on their website, they emailed you to say your bag had just left the factory, and that ten employees stood there waving it goodbye. Great copy. But it had the opposite effect: the guy just didn’t believe it. They were trying too hard.

Same with a restaurant. A complimentary drink feels like a thoughtful gesture. A 50% discount can make a guest feel cheap, and shifts the story from the food or the service to the discount.

Zappos is my favourite example of over-delivering the right way. After a customer replied “great, thx!” to a standard support email, someone at Zappos answered personally instead of letting an autoresponder close the loop:

Why does it still matter?

Experience design isn’t about exceeding expectations for the sake of it. It’s about choosing an extra that feels credible, useful and proportionate, and that makes the value you intended the thing people remember, not the stunt.

Expectations also move. Managing rising customer expectations is about why the baseline keeps rising, and why it is set by the best experience people have anywhere, not only by your competitors.

Origin: my post The theory of managing expectations and conversations, 28 February 2011 (now in the archive), inspired by a blog post by Guillaume van der Stighelen. Drawing redone in October 2026.